Kanja desu
by Ashna
Summary: Sequeal to Hope In Despair.Yamato struggles with stress of his band, his realtionship with Taichi and Sora and his own brothers attempt at suicide. Yaoi!! Will not end a Sorato! Yuck no! Lemon in later chapters. or maybe lime if Kathrine reads.


Fic used to be Taking Happiness. It's been re written and made longer. So if you've all ready read it. Read it again please. I've added about oh 20 pages.

I do not own digimon. The Band. Hayashi Yoshiki *glomps* or Okuda Tamio. Oh how I wish I owned Yoshiki.... Sigh I could make him grow his hair out again and bring Xjapan back together.... *Thinks* But a Xjapan without Hide? Never mind. The dream is over.. *Cries* Oh um yeah on with authors notes. XP

Warning for Yaoi and lime and other such nice tidbits. You no like, you no read.

Oh yeah and I'm borrowing The Band from Empress of the Eclipse for this fic. Not much but Yamato has to have Some back up right? So yeah, I don't own them either. Empress of the Eclipse does!! If you haven't read her fics your either BLIND or new to ff.net. GO READ THEM!!! Oh Mountain Gods make me worthy to control the lives of Itsu, Akemi, Gendo and Toshiki, whom I keep wanting to write Yoshiki @_@ I have to remind myself who I'm talking about.

Oh and if your wondering yes Okuda-san and Yoshiki-san are real people. They were in bands now they older and produce for some of the TOP bands in Japan. Example. Puffy Ami Yumi, SMAP and several others are products of Okuda. While bands like Dir En Grey *glomps Toshiya* are Yoshiki's doing. 

  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~

"You are an idiot."

Yamato Ishida, lead singer of the Teenage Wolves glared at his reflection in the bathroom mirror. His face was flushed, clothes askew and his hair was messed up. He'd come into the bathroom to clean up before his Dad came home. 

Yamato was a little unnerved by the change in his appearance. He normally didn't let anything penetrate his cool exterior and catch him off guard for more then a few moments. But the reason for this lapse in his normally fixed cool guy exterior was fast asleep on the couch, innocent to the turmoil they'd caused in his heart.

"This has got to be the stupidest thing you've done in a long time."

He gave up trying to convince himself of his stupidity and after fixing his appearance walked back out to the living room and sat down on the couch to watch Taichi. His hair was all ready a mess of brown, it closely resembled the thatched roof of a hut on the best of days. He was sprawled across the couch on his stomach, one hand hanging over the edge the other cradling his head. So despite the insults he'd cast at himself a few moments ago Yamato had to admit he didn't care if he'd screwed up royally. Getting involved with Taichi was one mistake he'd gladly make again.

"Hey...Taichi wake up." Yamato said nudging the shorter boy with his foot.

He didn't want to wake Taichi up but his Dad was going to be home in around half an hour and would wonder at a half naked Taichi asleep on the couch.

Taichi grumbled, stretched and went back to sleep. This time curled at the foot of the couch away from Yamato. The blonde laughed and reached over to snag a belt loop from Taichi's pants and pulled him up, despite further grumbling.

"Come on Taichi wake up!" Yamato said cheerfully.

The thatch haired boy grumbled, swatted feebly at Yamato then gave up all resistance. He let Yamato pull him up then flopped back down, this time against Yamato. He snaked an arm around Yamato's waist and snuggled in fully intending not to move. Yamato sighed in defeat and leaned back putting his arms around Taichi.

"Your supposed to be getting dressed." He said quietly and with out much conviction.

"I don't care, this is better." Taichi said opening his eyes to grin up at Yamato.

This was the same rutinue they set every time Taichi came over. His Dad would leave, Yamato would phone Taichi, he'd come over and when it came time to leave they always managed to look presentable at the last minute. Most of the time it was Yamato who moaned and groaned about moving.

"So do I koi but we're going to Takeru's for dinner remember? You said you wanted to come." Yamato sighed pushing Taichi away.

Taichi sighed just as heavily then grinned. He leaned forward and pressed his lips to Yamato's gliding his tongue across his lips. Then quickly got up and bounced around the room searching for his shirt. Yamato blinked then scowled at Taichi.

"That wasn't very nice." He said standing up and straitening his shirt.

"Why? It was just a kiss." Taichi said knowing full well what Yamato meant.

"True but now....." Yamato grinned walking up to Taichi and grabbing him around the waist before he could move away.

"I want more."

Of course Taichi didn't argue much when Yamato bent his head to kiss him once again. He wrapped his arms around Yamato's shoulders and pulled him close. Their mouths opened and their tongues did battle, their bodies moving closer together. A click at the door and the two jumped apart heads whipping towards the door.

"Shit my Dad." Yamato said as Taichi dived for his shirt.

They scrambled around tossing cushions back on chairs and Yamato grabbed the evidence of their activities and tossed them into his room closing the door. He ran back to the livingroom and jumped over the back of the couch beside Taichi. He flipped on the TV just as his Dad opened the door.

"Hey boys I'm home....." Mr. Ishida said giving the two teenagers a odd glance.

"Hi Dad."

"Hi Mr. Ishida."

They both said cheerfully both a little out of breath from their frantic dash. His Dad smiled back shaking his head a little at the weird behaviour of teenagers. Yamato kept smiling knowing his Dad woudn't ask. He'd said once to Yamato that he didn't mind what they did as long as they didn't trash the house and it wasn't illegal. Though Yamato thought he probably would care if he knew what they were doing when he wasn't home.

Finally he walked back to his room and Taichi sighed a huge sigh of relief. Yamato looked back at him confused. Normally they laughed about their numerus close calls.

"Thank God he didn't notice..." Taichi said pointing to the coffee table.

Yamato choked, there on the coffee table in clear view of where his Dad had stood was a used condom. He stared it for a while then cracked up laughing. Taichi blinked at him for a moment then started chuckling as well.

"I'll just throw that out..." Yamato snickered getting up from the couch.

(On the original format somebody asked why two guys would need a condom. Well here's the answer. It's called protection against STD's honey. If you don't know what that means ask your parents a teacher whatever. I normally don't bother putting that type of info into the fics I write but any real situation calls for protection. *Glares at anyone who doesn't use protection* Anyways on with the fic. )

~~~~~~~~~~~~

"So how is Takeru doing? He's been very quiet lately I've noticed." Taichi asked him on the way to his mother and brothers place.

"I don't know really. He hasn't talked to me lately." Yamato answered frowning.

It had been a gradual change but his normally chipper younger brother had become withdrawn and moody in the last few weeks.

"Hikari's told me he's been acting really quiet since they broke up. She's starting to feel guilty about it. I say not to worry because she's very happy with Akira...." Taichi said looking out the window of the train.

"I know Ken has noticed a difference too. He phoned me about it once but I've been so busy with the band and Sor... stuff." Yamato said mentally smacking himself in the head for his slip.

Taichi nodded his face darkening then going blank. He didn't say anything more and Yamato didn't either. They rode in silence getting off a block away from his brothers. He hoped this wasn't going to last all night. He couldn't say anything to Taichi, he'd only make him angrier. 

"I wish we didn't have to do this...." Taichi said once they reached the apartment complex.

Yamato didn't say anything and pressed the button for the elevator. He couldn't give any response to that. The door opened and he stepped inside Taichi following. Then a hand turned him around and arms snuck around his waist. Taichi rested his head against Yamato's shoulder.

"I just hate sharing you. Even if she means nothing to you really....I just hate it." He said as Yamato buried his face in his hair wrapping his arms around Taichi.

He didn't say anything but just held Taichi until the elevator doors opened. They parted and walked down the hallway to his brothers apartment. He opened the door and they stepped inside letting it slam shut behind him.

"Hey Mom, hey Takeru!!" He shouted flipping off his shoes and putting on slippers.

There was no response the house felt empty. Frowning he called out again as Taichi walked down the hall towards the kitchen.

"Oh shit..." Taichi said pausing at the entrance.

Yamato walked down the hallway wondering what was up. Taichi dashed into the kitchen as Yamato reached him looking in. A strangled sound emerged from his throat as he took in the pool of blood slowly spreading across the kitchen floor his brother laying in the middle, two twin gashes marring his wrists.

~~~~~~~~~  
(:P Just to get people reading Hope In Despair. Heheheh, I'm not going to get into what happened to Takeru until chapter two and that will be between chapters 4 and 5 of HID time line wise. Go read the other if you haven't all ready! ^_^ )

Yamato stared at the stained carpeting of the high school band room, his thoughts a complete mess. After hours of waiting Takeru had pulled through despite the amount of blood he'd lost. Now he was still in hospital and hadn't awakened yet. The doctors said he would be fine to leave the hospital once he woke. His Dad would have let him stay home from school if it hadn't been for his grades. He didn't bother to explain it was the stress of holding out on two relationships that was lowering his grades in the first place.

*Little more stress wont hurt at all.*

He thought past the feeling of guilt. That he should have seen how Takeru had become depressed in the last few months. That he should have shown up sooner or been able to do something for him. All that added to the guilt of hurting Taichi while deceiving his best friend.

"Earth to Yamato Ishida, come in Yamato." An overly cheerful voice sounded with an equally annoying wack over the head.

Yamato looked up at a grinning Akemi. 

*Why didn't I cancel band practice?*

He wondered silently, all angst forgotten for the moment as he glared at the other band member.

"What do you want Akemi?" Yamato asked shaking his mind out of the self induced guilt.

"Dude what is with you today? What happened, you tried to get laid last night and said the wrong name? You know I have the perfect excuse for that..." Akemi started putting a comforting arm around Yamato's shoulders.

He was cut off by Itsu who was suddenly very interested in the conversation.

"What!?! Yamato say it isn't true!" He cried inserting himself into the conversation.

"Say what?" Yamato asked momentarily confused though he should have known better.

"You haven't been sleeping with other people have you? Aren't I enough for you my darling?" Itsu said not noticing Gendo slapping his forehead or Toshiki rolling his eyes in the background.

Shaking his head Yamato stood up completely ignoring Itsu's dramatics. Toshiki and Gendo looked at him in curiosity as Akemi   
poked fun at Itsu.

"Look I'm not really feeling up to practice today. I hate to cancel on you guys but..." He was stopped short by Gendo.

"No problem Yamato. We'll deal with dumb and dummer over here, " he said sticking out a thumb at Itsu who now had Akemi in ahead lock yelling at him to 'take it back'.

"Eh? Somebody say something?" Itsu asked blinking as he realised a conversation was going on without him.

Of course Akemi took this opportunity to pounce and seek revenge. Once again ignored the other three continued to talk.

"I've realised somethings been bugging you all day. Go home and deal with it and we'll make up this practice next Tuesday." Toshiki said with a slight smile.

"Yeah, thanks."

Yamato quickly packed up ignoring the woe begone expression on Istu's face. He would just head straight home and pack up this things. It had been decided that until Takeru recovered he would move in with his Mother as a kind of suicide watch.  
  
Sighing he was about to walk out when Itsu stopped him just outside the door.

"Hey Yamato, go talk to Taichi or something. You really haven't been yourself." Itsu said making Yamato blink at the seriousness in his voice.

"Of course I wish you would let me comfort you but... " he was cut off as Gendo dragged him back into the room where the rest where packing up.

"Itsu can't you Ever be serious?"

"But I AM being serious!!!!"

Smiling just a little Yamato walked down the street towards the Yagami's letting the voices of his friends fade away. Being with Taichi would help him feel a but better. He could ignore relationship problems for now. Taichi would understand he hoped.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Several weeks passed with little or no change in Takeru's attitude. Ken and Daisuke had both helped greatly in looking after the depressed and despondent teen. This let Yamato and Mrs. Takaishi have a little breathing room.

*I could do with more.*

Yamato thought as he walked down the hallways of the highschool. It was his last year and he went to a different school then the rest. To everyone's surprise he'd gotten into a very high end college. Koushiro was there with him though as was Sora. Taichi had picked a school with a great soccer program. This bugged Taichi a little knowing Sora was with him all day.

"Yamato!!! Matte!!" Came Sora's voice over the crowd.

He stopped even though he didn't want to. The strain between them had grown since Takeru's suicide attempt. It echoed the strain growing between him and Taichi as well. They'd gotten into a fight about it a few days ago.

~~~Lalalalalalala Flash Back lalalalalallalalala~~~

Taichi and Yamato had been at the Ishida apartment, on the couch, wearing... Well a whole lot less then a minute ago. Yamato had been in the middle of a very interesting exploration of Taichi's neither regions when he was pulled up again by Taichi.

The brunette had run a hand slowly through Yamato's bangs in a suddenly much less passionate mood then before. Yamato steadied his erratic breathing as he realised Taichi was slightly upset about something.

"What's wrong Koibito?" Yamato asked kissing Taichi's lips gently then moving to his neck not being able to resist the dark skin.

"I don't know Yamato... I just... Oh will you stop that for just a few moments oh horny one?" Taichi said pushing him back.

Yamato chuckled but stopped leaning down against Taichi, resting his head on the darker boys shoulder.

"So what's wrong? Oh and your more horny then me... Most of the time."he said waiting to hear Taichi's response.

"Yamato... I know your reasons for dating Sora. I know I agreed to them... But I don't think I can take this anymore." Taichi started off quietly.

"Taichi I..." he tried to speak but Taichi shushed him.

"No listen to me. I know your band is important to you. I know that when you guys were first starting out all of you were told to keep a low profile on your private lives. Be as gay as you want on stage but appear normal."

(AN In Japan MANY Pop stars and Rockers will cross dress, make out with other band members etc etc etc. Their not assumed to be gay either. Lots of it is just for the stage. Lots have girlfriends or are married just to let you know. Example is pop/rock band Shazna! Izam is such a cutie! Ahem anyways....)

"Well now your very popular, you've got a record deal coming up. Your indies days are over. Your even doing a video in a few months. Why can't we just drop appearances now?" 

Taichi stared in to Yamato's eyes pleading for the answer he wanted to hear. Yamato looked away unable to face him. While it was true that things were going great for the band now things were still rocky. Their manager told them until they knew for certain what direction they were taking the band, Toshiki and Itsu wanted a more average appearance while Akemi and Yamato were thinking of trying out some visual kei acts, to keep things low key. They needed that average normal fan base still.

"Taichi the record deal is rocky you know that. We're still trying to decide who to sign on with..."

"I thought you were signing with Hayashi Yoshiki?" Taichi interrupted.

"Toshiki and Istu are still arguing for Okuda Tamio. They like his style better." Yamato answered.

"So your saying no right?" Taichi interrupted again.

"I... Yeah I guess so." Yamato mumbled.

He looked up to see Taichi looking fairly upset. The brunette sat up pushing Yamato off him. Doing up his jeans and pulling on his shirt. Yamato blinked in confusion before standing up as well, pulling on his black slacks.

"Taichi?" he asked remaining sitting on the couch.

"Look Yamato I do understand why you've been doing this for so long. I'm just tired of waiting around for you to 'hit it big'. What if you never do? What if one of these deals falls through? Will you pretend for the rest of your life?" Taichi said quickly as if trying not to get mad.

"And what about Sora? She's both of ours best friend. Are you going to string her along forever too? Frankly I think she deserves better then that... I deserve better then that." There was a note of finality in Taichi's voice as he pulled on his shoes.

"So goodbye Yamato when you get things straight maybe then try calling me again." And he left.

Yamato looked at the closed door still unmoving on the couch. He hadn't bothered to argue. There was nothing he could say that would make Taichi stay...

~~~~~Lalalalalalala end flash back lalalalalalala~~~~~~

Sora glomped on to his side in an unsual show of girly affection. For her at least. The tomboy turned teenager had under gone a lot of changes since her younger days. She was still athletic and easy going but now had a more confident edge and sophistication she'd lacked before. She was still a great friend and confidant.

*I'm an asshole...*

"Yamato I was wondering there's a new movie coming out soon. I was wondering if you wanted to come see it with me? Maybe go out for dinner after?" She asked with a gentle smile.

As much as he adored her gentle nature and confidence she paled in comparison to Taichi. His wild hair a stark contrast for her soft red gold curtain. His healthy dark tan and sleek athletes built so very different from her soft curves and milky skin, slightly tanned from tennis.

*She's like a pale shadow of him. Taichi in female form.*

The thought of Taichi in the small and cute uniform that Sora now wore, pink scrunchie trying her hair back included, made Yamato chuckle. Sora gave him an odd look.

"What's so funny?" She asked.

"I was mentally comparing you and Taichi and suddenly saw him in your school uniform." Yamato laughed sharing the joke.

Sora chuckled shaking her head. She had tried to dress Yamato up in her uniform once to very amusing results.

"Now that would be something to see! Think maybe we could corner the former goggle head and see if we can make it a kodak moment?" Sora laughed pulling him over to her locker.

Yamato's smile faded as he remembered he wouldn't be seeing much of Taichi anymore. Sitting down on the bench between the lockers Yamato pulled off his shoes and took down a pair of slippers.

"Yamato-kun? Something wrong?" Sora asked when she turned away from her locker to see him just sitting there.

"I... We kinda fought and it isn't something I can patch up easily." Yamato sighed.

"Well I know from experience that you and Taichi tend to find someway to patch things up. Why would you be able to find a way this time?" Sora said thoughtfully curling one leg underneath her.

"This time... I don't know how to explain. I've been making him do something he doesn't really want to do. He understood at first but now he's really mad... I didn't want things to get like this but I've had no choice." Yamato answered trying to find ways of explaining that didn't give details.

Sora hummed a slight frown on her face.

"I take it this is something you'd said wasn't going to be for long or not all the time and is still on going?" Sora stated.

"Something like that..."

"Look Yamato I know Taichi very well. He's one of the most loyal friends anyone could have but think you maybe that you've been abusing the relationship? I know I don't know the details and frankly don't expect you to tell me but... There's only so far you can push anyone before they get tired of it. So maybe you should stop doing whatever it is..."

Yamato shook his head. He wanted to but couldn't. If he broke the rules he and the band had agreed to he'd be ruining their chances of success. He didn't want to let them down. Then there was Sora. She still liked him and he didn't want to admit he felt nothing but friendship for her.

"Well if your not willing to bend a little he's not going to forgive you. Yamato you know that's how Taichi thinks. Come on we're going to be late for class. Can't have detention or we'll miss the movie!" Sora said slipping on her gym shoes.

"Movie?" Yamato asked not remembering her question from before.

"Come on!!! Oh, Mimi and her new boyfriend are coming too!" Sora said cheerfully as she pulled Yamato to his feet.

"Oh gods no. Not bubble gum Mimi and Mr. Buff, bleach blonde and stupid!" Yamato groaned remembering his first meeting with Tetsu and the even more exaggerated personality traits Mimi adopted around him.

"Your just jealous cuz he's blonder then you!"

"Hey I am a Natural blonde! His roots keep showing after a week! I would Never do that to my hair!!!"Yamato protested trying to forget he former woes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sora waited on the park bench for Yamato to show up. They were going skating and he was all ready 20 minutes late. Sighing she bundled her jacket closer around her and glanced around.

*No sign of him yet. What is taking so long?*

She was starting to suspect that maybe Yamato didn't care for her as she thought he did. He seemed fine before but lately had been getting even more distant then his normal aloof manner.  
Sora was begin to believe that maybe she should break it off with him. If he wasn't happy with her he should get a chance to be with someone else.

One problem with that plan. As much as Sora wanted to have Yamato happy she still liked him a lot. She'd admired him since their first trips to the digital world. He could be so kinda and sensitive. He was still very masculine though.

*I just hope Itsu and Toshiki win the record argument. I don't think I could take a Visual Kei Yamato. No, Yamato looking sexier then me in a skirt would be a bad thing.*

Sighing she didn't notice when someone snuck up behind her until two gloved hands clamped down on her shoulders. With a shriek she jumped up shocked out of her own thoughts. Jumping up she turned on laughing black eyes and long blue hair instead of the blonde she was expecting.

"JYOU!!!" She squealed running around the bench to give him a hug.

The older digidestined had been away at medical school for about a year now and she was delighted to see him. Of course after the hug she hit him.

"Don't Scare me like that!!!" 

"Itai! You pack a hard punch, please refrain from hurting me." Jyou whined but he was still smiling.

"Gomen Jyou! I'm glad your back. We haven't seen you for ages. Is your school on holidays?" Sora asked sitting back down on the bench, gesturing for Jyou to do so as well.

"Well not really. I just have a few days between new classes and thought... Well... Um... See there was something I wanted to do. Figured now was a good time as any." Jyou stammered.

Sora nodded her head wondering what could make Jyou so nervous. Over the years he had become a calm and mature young man. He'd grown into his gawky frame and while not as pretty as Yamato was certainly quite handsome. All that lush, thick blue hair and the shy smile had attracted many girls over the years.

*Why is he so nervous now?*

"Look I figured out you were here.. You mom told me and... Um well. Here goes. I'velikedyouforalongtimeandwaswonderingifthere'sanyhopeformeata ll." he rushed all in one breath.

It took Sora awhile to sort it all out. She blinked as what he said set in.

*He... likes me?*

"Jyou... I don't know what to say. I'm dating Yamato right now and... If I wasn't I don't know but... I don't even know if I should be thinking about something like that.... Oh dear." Sora said feeling very guilty.

"Oh... Well I had no clue you and Yamato were an item. Now i feel like an idiot. All I can say is, if things don't work out between you and Yamato. Call me okay?" Jyou answered sounding a bit embarrassed.

Smiling Sora nodded. If things were going down hill with Yamato then maybe she did need a change in the type of guy she dated. Jyou was mature and responsible. Honest too. He would never lead her on if his feelings wern't a hundred percent sure. Leaning over she gave him a quick kiss on the cheek which turned him bright red, his glasses fogging up.

"I will remember that Jyou." She smiled standing up.

She had spotted Yamato walking down the path, head down and scrunched into his jacket against the cold.

"I have to go now. I'm on a date with Yamato." She said apologeticly.

"It all right Sora. I completely understand.' Jyou smiled.

Giving her a hug he walked off looking a bit dejected but not too bad. Sighing Sora walked over to Yamato and gave him a solid wack in the shoulder. Much harder then the hit she'd given Jyou.

"Itai!!! What's your problem?" Yamato said glaring at her rubbing his arm.

"For being horribly late. Now lets get going!!!"Sora grinned taking his uninjured arm and dragging him towards the frozen lake.

"Okay, okay sorry. Hey leme go. Ouch don't pull so hard. Yeesh." Yamato complained.

Sora smiled at his reluctance to comply. He hated skating but she'd insisted he take her. They did have fun but both seemed distant. Sora was used to Yamato's distant behaviour but today it annoyed her more.

*Jyou is never cold like this. He's so open and honest. I don't even know what's bugging Yamato. He wont tell me.*

She wondered if he would ever open up and be honest with her. Or maybe she'd be phoning Jyou sooner then she thought.

~~~~~~~~~~~

"I do not want to do this!!! I'll look pathetic! I'm not suited for this type of thing." Itsu complained loudly from the bathroom.

The band had gotten together to try out a visual kei look. Tons of clothes were piled in Yamato's living room for members to pick from. Most consisted of leather, skirts and high heeled boots.

"Stop grumbling and just put on what I gave you! Either that o pick something yourself!" Gendo shouted back.

He'd showed up all ready dressed. They all knew his favourite haunts where the naito kurimu scattered about the city. He was wearing all black, except for his shirt and lots of leather. Tight pants were moulded to his legs, tucked under knee high lace up leather platform boots. His formal dress shirt hung loosely on his body except were two wide leather studded belts were placed low on his hips. The buttons of the shirt were undone half way as well. A barbed wire choker circled his neck and his normally plain hoop earring had been replaced with a blood red stone shaped like a skull. Gendo seemed to like the goth look.

Akemi was still searching for an outfit through the pile of clothes. From the small pile he had compiled it was as if he was determined to make their fans go blind. Or maybe just kill Yamato when he reappeared from his room.

Both Toshiki and Yamato see,ed to know what they were going to wear as well. Toshiki was changing in Mr.Ishida's bed room. Who had fled the apartment as soon as he'd figured out the entire band was coming over.

Finally Itsu came out of the bathroom face red. He didn't think much of the outfit but Gendo smiled. He was wear ultra tight black swede pants that flared at the ends.. Gendo had said because he was so thin they'd look good. The dress shirt was long sleaved with pleated ends. The collar was high necked with the same small pleats. He swore one of them had borrowed this shirt from their sister or something. It was even a dark violet. On his feet were platform heeled shoes which made him feel very unsteady on his feet.

"I look stupid." he said flatly.

"No! You look great! Honest." Gendo smiled trying to keep him from darting back into the bathroom to change back.

Akemi was starting to throw on clothes and neither Itsu or gendo wanted to know what he was doing.

"Okay I'm ready... And I'm done with the make up so somebody take it to Yamato." Some strange girl said while coming out of Mr.Ishida's bedroom.

"WHOA!!! Toshiki!! How did you DO that!?!?" Itsu shrieked suddenly feeling a lot more masculine in his outfit.

Toshiki had gone for utterly and completely girlie. He wore several layers of black lace skirts that ended just above his knees, poofing out like a small girls dress. Knee socks and platform mary janes adorned his feet. He had a long sleaved tight lace top on under a silver/green corset top that matched his eyes. His lower arms were covered in bangles and black fingerless gloves on his hands. His normally short and neat black hair was spiked up in the front while the rest was hidden by butt length extensions.

Unlike the other two he had put on make-up as well. Black eye liner circled around his eyes as well as thick eye lashes that the other two couldn't decide were real or not. Silver eye shadow and lipstick showed up clearly against the the white make-up covering his skin. Frankly he looked damn hot.

"Well think I've pulled of the visual kei look?" Toshiki asked with a smile.

Gendo and Itsu nodded in shock as Akemi laughed.

"Damn you look good Toshiki! Frankly I'd jump ya right now but I'm getting dressed and that would be silly to get undressed so soon." Akemi said sill pulling on various brightly coloured items.

Toshiki stuck the make-up kit into Yamato's room and came back. He sat at the table and began painting his nails black with silver tips.

"Nail polish too? Please tell me I don't have to wear that." itsu whined as Gendo pulled him over.

"Well I am." gendo said holding up his own black nails.

"Fine... Mumble, mumble..." 

"What was that Itsu?"

"Nothing."

"Hey I'm done! Whatcha think!!!! Am I hot or what?" Akemi said brightly.

They all looked up and were amazed. Akemi was wearing leather pants... Blue leather pants with with a white silk shirt tucked into them. It was completely undone of course. A blue leather choker circled his neck and blue lace up leather arm bands covered his arm from wrist to elbow. He was also wearing platform sneakers. He'd put spray in blue hair dye into his black curls as well and spiked them up into some kind of weird blue porcupine. He'd brought his own make-up kit and let no one touch it. His face was pure white unlike Toshiki's which was just a bit more human looking. Blue lipstick and thick black eyes liner were his weapons of choice.

"Okay I admit I was sceptical but you look... Freaky. Not quite stupid as I thought you would be." Itsu said.

'Thanks a lot. I think I look great! This is cool! You look good but you need make-up!" Akemi said plopping down beside Itsu.

"No I do not."

"Yes you do. Hey did anyone think to bring some beer? Think Yamato's dad has some?" Akemi asked jumping up to check out the fridge.

"TOUCH ANYTHING AND YOU DIE AKEMI!" Yamato yelled from his bed room.

"Don't worry we'll stop him." Gendo shouted back as Akemi skipped back with four beers.

"Thanks Akemi." He said as he took one.

After awhile of Itsu complaining and Akemi checking himself out in the mirror Yamato finally emerged. Jaws dropped.

"Okay we are so going visual kei." Itsu muttered.

"I'll phone Yoshiki later today." Gendo replied.

"Ya know Itsu I think you've gotten the right idea all along." Akemi said as he drooled.

Toshiki was felt speechless.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(AN Heehee you find out what he looks like later. Oh and Empress I hope you don't mind me dressing them up this way. I figured they'd look good so yeah. Hope I got all them down on what they'd wear doing visual kei. I just guessed that Toshiki being the shortest would go glam girl. Plus I thought he'd look cute. Heehee. By the way i will be able to scan things by february so you'll get the pictures of your band then. )

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The deal was signed within a week. Yoshiki had seen their planned look and laughingly told them it would work. Yamato was ecstatic. The former drummer had told them he was thinking of taking them down to L.A. To record their first non indies album.

*This is going to be so great! I should brush up on my english. I can't believe we've been signed. Fame and fortune here we come! I can't wait to tell Taichi!*

That thought stopped him cold. What could he possibly say to Taichi. He wasn't sure how to approach him. They'd been split up for a month now. Taichi hadn't said a word to him once. Sora was getting worried about them. Hell everyone was getting worried about them.

His and Sora's relationship had been rocky as well. She seemed more distant and he wasn't helping either. He knew she still liked him. She seemed to be wanting more as well. Becoming distant then the next moment pressing for more intimacy and commitment. It was confusing. 

*I gotta forget about Taichi for now. I am not going to let Sora down. I got her into this so maybe I can let it play out... Hopefully we'll break things off naturally. I just don't want to hurt her.*  
  
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Okay I'm ending the chapter here. A bit short but I can't think of ways of extending the plot from here just yet. The Next chapter focuses of Takeru, Ken and Daisuke. Sorta starting off where Hope In Despair chapter four ended. Hope you've liked so far!!! R&R please!!! 


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